I scroll through Facebook and see the perfect pictures of homemade cards, breakfasts made, flowers, etc. It's nice, ideal...how it should be. Then, as I scroll through a group's page that I'm in - a group of moms who are parenting children from hard places through some pretty tough stuff, I'm painfully reminded of this fallen world we live in. Their posts consist of broken flower pots, children who live to sabotage every special occasion with their tantrums, a mom breaking down in tears in the middle of a restaurant, moms who have incurred bite marks and bruises from the very children they work so hard to love. Mother's Day is beyond hard for some.
Infertility.
Abandonment.
Children lost.
Mothers lost.
For a million other reasons.
As an adoptive mom, Mother's Day is different for me than it used to be. I spent several Mother's Days hurting that two of my children weren't yet a part of us. I have spent subsequent Mother's Days considering the questions, thoughts and feelings of two of my children regarding moms they have lost, reminding myself not to take their rejection of me personally. I hurt for their birth mothers who have experienced a great loss as well. It's all just a whole lot more complicated than it used to be.
Then, I remember. For 18 years, there is not a single thing about being a mom that has ever been about me.
The first time I was referred to as "Aubrey's mom" in lieu of my real name, I realized my identity had completely been altered forever. Even Mother's Day has never really been about me. The kids don't magically start picking their clothes up off the floor, they don't just morph into compliant, non argumentative humans (as my oldest son reminded me yesterday.) Not even for this one day. Big picture...they don't exist to better my life, I exist to better theirs. no matter how difficult. Although there is not a more thankless, selfless and painful job than being a mother, it's a job I am blessed to have. Despite the fact that even this one day sometimes isn't always all it should be, I am reminded that they are worth every sacrifice and heartache. Six times over.
Highlights from this year's Mother's Day:
2. My youngest daughter spending her hard earned money to buy her brother new shin guards for his birthday...and an awesome shirt for me declaring my ultimate awesomeness as a mom.
3. The following conversation with my second born son about to enter high school next year:
Me: "How would you feel if I started substitute teaching at your school next year?"
Him: "That would be awesome! Then I could come and hug you anytime I want!"
4. Dinner with some of my favorite and most inspiring moms on the planet. Thank you, ladies!
5. A very special homemade card from my Sam that left me in tears for a good while. We've both worked really hard to get here:
