"Our" Boys!

It seems a bit odd to me to refer to two little boys that I have spent less than a month total with as "ours." But it also seemed a bit odd (to me anyway) when I gave birth to my biological children that the moment they were born, an instant bond was there. Within seconds a bond was created so strong that I knew I would lay down my life at any moment for them....and would, forever! I have tried to tell myself about Sam and Alto, "they are not legally yours," "anything can happen...this is Haiti we are dealing with," "the boys don't feel the same way that you do." Well, although all of that is very true, and legally they are not mine yet, I would give my life for either of these boys...just as I would my biological children. On my part, as a mother, the bond is there. It's a bit unexplainable.

Maybe this is why God makes the adoption process so long, arduous, and difficult. It certainly wasn't this way with my biological children. God simply blessed me with the four of them, it was that beautiful, that easy, that simple. Maybe He knows that the time invested, the emotional, financial, and physical energy being expended by me on behalf of these precious boys is what has and will continue to create this bond...a bond that can only be had between a mother and a child. It was told to me by my caseworker before signing a single document that I would feel differently about these boys than my biological children. I would feel more protective, invested in these children. Not that I would have more love, commitment to or adoration for them, but I would feel in a different sense that these children were chosen, labored for, prayed over, and wept over more than the others. In typical Tanya fashion, I thought it could not be true...they would all be the same in my heart. But it is very true thus far. My biological children are mine, I love them with every fiber of my being...but there is a yearning that I have for these two little Haitian boys that I didn't need to have with the other four.

As we have labored on through this process, I keep looking for examples of adoption in the Bible. There is the example of Moses, but the most striking example I find is the one of you and me. Romans 8:14-21 discusses God's adoption of us as His sons in depth. We are co-heirs with Christ. I think of how I feel with regard to Sam and Alto vs. my biological children and how God must feel about me vs. Jesus. I have required a great deal more "work" on God's part than Jesus did, that's for sure. He has had to wait patiently for me, invest tremendously in me, He payed an unthinkable price for me. I think of how much these 2 little boys mean to me, how much I am willing to sacrifice for them, and how very dear they are to my heart and I have only spent less than a month with them. "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matt. 7:11) Any emotion or love I (who am evil) feel for any of my children, God has immeasurably more for me. I really am special to my God. He really does look at me as His daughter...with all of the privileges and inheritance that goes along with it. He gladly paid the cost and made the sacrifice for me to be His child, as I do for these boys who are to be my heirs, "co-heirs" with my children.