Passports!

So, the day before Thanksgiving, we find out that Sam's passport is finally done.  So, "when do they come home?" you and every other human asks.  The next step is I-600 approval.  This is where the US govt, approves our boys are actually orphans and we are not "stealing" someone's children.  This could take a month.  After that approval, a few weeks later, we are assigned an appointment to get the boys' visas allowing them to become US citizens when they enter the US...cannot wait for that moment.

 So, we still have a couple of months.

The holidays are bitter sweet as I'm SURE this will be our last holiday season without the boys ( I thought the same thing last year) but at the same time we want them here with us to celebrate.  Nevertheless, the Christmas tree will likely go up this week, I will put on my happy face, and secretly ache inside for two of our sons won't be with us.

Our Adoption Journey (so far)

I've kept most of our nearly 2 1/2 year adoption journey to myself these past 2 years, sharing details with only a few very close to me.  Mostly because I feel when people ask me about our adoption, I could spend about 2 hours explaining why we are where we are, how we got there, and why yes, we really do have no idea when the boys will be home.  Most people aren't up for that and I don't blame them.  Plus, I spend enough time pining away at it myself...no need to put the rest of the world through it.

Questions I hear on almost a daily basis are:  "Why is it taking so long?  or "Why is it so expensive?  or "That must be really hard? or "Really, you have no idea when they will be home?"  A frequent comment I hear is "It shouldn't be so hard to give these poor children a home."  I thought it may be helpful to address some of these questions (for those who are interested) by writing about the logistics of our journey.  Mind you, I am not including the heart ache that was felt during each of these prolonged steps.

Here is the full story so far (to the best of my remembrance) of our struggle to bring these two precious boys into our family.  It is also an attempt to help answer some of those questions for those who are interested, care, and have the patience.

July 2010:  Six months after the devastating earthquake, we go to Haiti for the first time.  We decide to adopt Alto because he fits in the birth order in our family and I absolutely fall in love with him.  I come back and immediately immerse myself into daily researching the ever changing world of Haitian adoptions.  I find out that Cap Haitien Children's Home (CHCH), where the boys live, is not licensed to do adoptions or even a licensed orphanage, the fact that we have 4 biological children, as well as the fact that Alto has 2 living parents will make this journey difficult.  I spend the next 7 months trying to find an agency in Haiti that will facilitate our adoption.  Nobody wants to take it on.

Oh, and Haiti closes adoptions uncertain when they will open again.

Tony and I have a brief discussion about adopting another child as well.  The next day (without specifically discussing it) we both independently tell those around us that we are also adopting Sem.  It was obviously part of God's plan.

I finally find one agency that was willing to take our case is in Port au Prince and will not help us unless we move Alto and Sam to their facility.  We are unwilling to put the boys through that emotionally.  So I keep searching and calling, and emailing.   I finally find Children of the Promise (COTP) in Cap Haitien hoping the boys can stay at CHCH since they are in the same town.  They deny me immediately.  They are my last hope so I email them back and literally beg and plead.  The adoption facilitator asks for my number and calls me.  She says they will only approve our family for a child with special needs.  I say, "the fact that they are doomed to life in an orphanage is a special need."  She says she will talk to her staff and call me back.  We pray.  They decide to take our case.  We thank God!

That took 7 months!!!

February 2011:   Haiti re-opens adoptions.  We immediately start working on our dossier (which includes more information than any of you know about us) to turn into the Haitian government, a process that involves getting psychoanalyzed, FBI background checks, and our home study among a million other things.  This becomes my full time job and takes 3 months to complete.  I wake up thinking about our dossier and go to sleep thinking about our dossier.

June 2011:  Our dossier arrives in Haiti and the agonizing, helpless wait begins.

September 2011:  Our dossier finally makes it into IBESR (the agency in Haiti that will approve our adoption.)  Shortly after, IBESR closes down so the new director can "figure out" Haitian adoptions and reorganize the office.

The Prime Minister of Haiti resigns (he is the one who ultimately signs off on adoptions.)  It will take "awhile" to not only replace him, but inform him that signing off on adoptions is one of his mundane tasks.

This is agonizing as we know our file is just literally sitting there with nothing being done.

January 2012:  IBESR re-opens.  Ok, now we expect to see some action.  Still agonizing because we hear absolutely nothing about our adoption!  We have no idea how long it will be before we are done with this stage.  We hear of others getting out, but not us.  Nothing happens for 5 more months.

I cannot express how difficult it is to wait for something of such magnitude that you have absolutely NO control over.  This adoption, more than any other event in my life, is teaching me that God really is in control and it's really better that He is.

Feb. 2012:  Tony and I take a trip to Haiti to file some paperwork for the US side of our adoption.  This is with the hopes that we will be out of IBESR soon (we won't be.)  The highlight is the time we get to spend with the boys.  They both greet us at the airport running and yelling excited to see us.  We spend the few days we have at the beach, coloring, making kites, and just getting to know them without all of the work that we normally have to do when we come on a mission trip.  Leaving them rips my heart out.  Sam and I spend a couple of hours crying together before we leave.  He can't/won't communicate what he's feeling.  I just tell him I love him over and over and that we will be back in July.

June 2012:  We finally exit IBESR.  We are elated but not blind to the fact that the road ahead is still going to be very long.

That was a 9 month wait!

At this point, we are about $30,000 into our adoption with at least $20,000 more to go.

July 2012:  We take our next mission trip to Haiti.  The boys don't greet us like they did in Feb.  Sam seems more distant, yet excited we are there.  He is protecting himself emotionally...unwilling to go through the pain he did before.  I understand, but part of me still wants my boy in my arms continually.  We have so much work to do at the orphanage, we really don't spend a ton of time with the boys.  Goodbye isn't as difficult and I tell the boys the next time we come we will take them home.

By the end of July, our file goes through several legal steps, one of which makes the boys legally ours in Haiti.  This is bittersweet as they may belong to us legally but emotionally they couldn't be farther away.

We enter MOI (Ministry of the Interior) the last step on the Haitian side of our adoption.  This is where everything is double/triple checked and finalized in Haiti.  This step should only take 2 months tops.  We are excited that things may be getting closer.  This step takes 4 months, not 2.

Aug. 2012:  The boys are moved to the Children of the Promise orphanage.  Since CHCH isn't licensed to do adoptions, they feel it's too risky legally for them to be residing there.  Remember 2 years ago when I searched high and low for an agency that would let them stay where they are to spare them emotionally?

Sept. 2012:  I get an email titled "Good News/Bad News."  Alto has his passport and is ready for the last steps.  Sam's father's death certificate has been lost and it will take at least a month ( it took 2 months) to fix.  I am crushed!  I really don't handle this news well.

 Oct. 2012:  I get a call from Jillian (the missionary at CHCH) saying that Alto is not adjusting well emotionally at COTP.  He cries himself to sleep every night.  My heart aches and I can't think about it without crying.  If you are a mother, you know you would gladly take on any hurt for your child.  I can't...there's nothing I can do.  But wait...depend on God, rely on Him to get our little Alto, me and all of eight of us through this heart wrenching journey.

I get another update that says it will be weeks before Sam's passport is ready to go.  We have now been in MOI for 3 months...this was supposed to be a 2 month wait, tops.

Nov. 2012:  We should have Sam's passport this month.  Then we begin the journey of getting visas for the boys...maybe the US side of things will go efficiently.

Daddy is Nesting Too

nesting [ˈnɛstɪŋ]

n

(Psychology) the tendency to arrange one's immediate surroundings, such as a work station, to create a place where one feels secure, comfortable, or in control

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

He will deny it, and fortunately he never reads our blog so he won't have the opportunity to do so...but my husband has been "nesting" since we got back from our visit with the boys.  I did this myself before we left for Haiti with the hopeful delusion that the boys would be home sometime this summer.  He has been in full swing since we got back, repairing things and accomplishing projects that have long been given up on.  For those that have spent afternoons with the blazing Western sun in my kitchen, we now have blinds. For those who have wrestled with our broken refrigerator drawers...no longer a problem.  Behind my refrigerator and stove were cleaned (shamefully, for the first time since we moved in.)  Holly no longer has to have a wrestling match with her drawers to get dressed every morning.

When one "nests", the motivation is to make arrange your surroundings so you or others feel at home.  Alto feels at home when he is as dirty as possible, much like his brother, Caleb. 

Alto loving being as dirty as possible

Alto in the sand.

 

















When in Haiti, much to Alto's delight, we had a ton (literally)of sand brought in to the orphanage.  So, of course, we should have a huge sandbox right in our own backyard!

Cameron in the sandbox.

Caleb in the sandbox.

Our makeshift fire pit has now become official with concrete, a drain and the works. 

Tony working on the fire pit.

We all put our hand prints and names in the concrete of the firepit.
Tony wrote in Sam and Alto's names between his own handprint.

This is all my man's way of saying, "I love these boys to death and I can't wait for them to get here."  Something I've been voicing every day for over 2 years....but it's good to hear it from someone else.  I love my husband and his commitment to showing all of our children his love for them and raising them to love their Creator with all their heart.  

Your probably wondering...so when will they get here?  A question I painfully ponder and hear multiple times  every day.  The answer is:  when God says so. Or, hopefully before Christmas.  I've been at this too long to have expectations on time frames.

Milonia

If you've followed our involvement in Haiti at all, you may be familiar with a young lady named Milonia.  Her gentle, humble, grateful spirit captured my heart the first time I met her.  But to be honest, what struck me most was her frail, malnourished, emaciated little body.  Something I had never seen before and it brought me to sobbing tears.

Milonia suffers from Type I Diabetes in a country where even basic medical care is a rare privilege.  If you know anyone in America who suffers from this disease, you know how serious, exhausting, and life threatening it is even with proper medical care.

After our third year in a row of visiting Milonia, I couldn't stand to see her continue to get the "minimal" help with her basic needs of survival.  She needed real medical care or she would never be strong enough to go to school and have a chance to succeed in her life.  God opened that door of opportunity by providing trustworthy and willing workers in Haiti to help her.  All I needed to do was raise the money to get it done.

As always, God provides.  I've set up a blog where anyone who would like to be involved can help with her monthly expenses as well as stay updated on her progress.

When attempting to help a country like Haiti, the needs and the inability to have an impact can be debilitating and overwhelming, causing us to not even try.  This is a chance to make a "Difference to One"...hence, the title of the blog.

From left to right; Jude, Roseny, Milonia, Tanya, Nellie

There is a link on our page to Milonia's blog so everyone who keeps up with us can keep up with her as well.

Haiti Mission Trip 2012

It takes me awhile to write about our trips to Haiti.  Not because I am procrastinating, or because I am hesitant to share.  It just takes me a long time to process Haiti each time I come back to what one missionary I know refers to as "Disneyland."  Every trip I come back with more love for, and information about the people, the culture, the church that makes me reevaluate so many aspects of my own life.

For this post, I will spare you all of my deep thoughts, insights, and struggles...another time.  For now, I will just share with you pictures and highlights about our most recent trip to my second most beloved country.


We had several projects while we were there.  As in typical Haitian mission trip style, most of our plans were completely changed and rearranged.  Setting a foundation for a playground and basketball court for the kids was the work project, and the women were set up to teach, teach, teach.

Work on the playground

The kids need a productive, clean, safe place to play.

We had TONS of rock, sand and dirt hauled in to spread for the foundation
for the new playground. Here are our Sam and Alto working along side Tony.

Alot of the kids helped out.

  

If they ran out of shovels, they just used buckets. 

This is the finished product...ready and waiting for a playground. 

Girl's Retreat

Jillian requested that we hold a retreat for the girls while we were there.  It was a challenge, but it was well-planned and went great.  The girls all said they want it to last the whole 2 weeks we are there next time instead of just 2 days.

In Haiti, there is a struggle with works oriented salvation...being "good enough." Our theme was on how "God can Make you Clean."  We talked about several women who were full of sin.  In our minds sometimes, God only wants to use those who are righteous.  We studied how in the Bible God accepts us and uses us how we are. 

 Jami planned an activity where we made soap.  The girls loved creatively shaping it. 

Aubrey making "red cord" bookmarks with
our dear friend, Milona.

Discussing Rahab and if God can use women like her today.

After Brenda's talk on the woman who
washed Jesus feet, we washed the girls' feet. 

Several people walked in off the street asking
what we were doing...one woman said she had never seen anything like it.
She would be there for worship the following Sunday.  

Terrier Rouge

Our good friend, Gerome and a preacher named Jonathan started a congregation last year in a nearby town called Terrier Rouge.  They have had lots of interest in the gospel and are growing fast.  We spent several days preaching, visiting new Christians and teaching Bible class for (what turned out to be) the neighborhood.

This is Tony visiting with the first convert they had in this town.
She is 100 years old.  She was quite an inspiration to us all.

Teaching the little kids...the crowd kept accumulating off the streets.
They were so excited to be there.

I saw this little boy and HAD to hold him!  He lives next door to the church building .  He comes by himself and brings his little wooden chair to sit in.  He sits at the door and greets people as they come in, shaking their hands.  So many lessons to be learned from this little boy.  How many people do you greet each Lord's Day?

We decided to make some benches for their
congregation as they only had a few chairs to sit in.

Here they are...loaded up and ready to go.

Devotionals for the kids

We lead devotionals, for the older boys, older girls,
as well as the smaller children at the orphanage.
Tony is teaching here an object lesson
about the narrow and broad gate in Matt. 7:13-14.

Roseny, Milonia, and Nellie

Sweet Milonia is a young girl who has found her way into my heart.  She has Type  I Diabetes and suffers a great deal in Haiti.  Our team gave her mother money to start a business so she can provide for her two girls.
The men went over and helped her put a roof on her stand to hold her products.

There is much to say about this dear family...stay tuned. 

The Team and the kids

I don't have any pictures of the work I did while we were there.  I spent most of my time in the office organizing the files so CHCH can soon get licensed.  It involved hunting down a representative for each child to come and sign paperwork for them at the orphanage.The two young men I am standing between (Jude and Willey) were of immeasurable help to me.  One side affect of this job was hearing the story behind each of the children and why they ended up at CHCH.  It motivates me more to spread the only answer to Haiti's problems...the gospel. 

Nou Fini! (We are Finished!)...A Little Bit of Nesting

Well, it took us 3 weeks, a serious team effort, and every ounce of free time, but we got the kids' rooms done!  My nesting instincts are officially extinguished.  My goal was to get them done before we leave for Haiti so I can take the pics to show the boys where they will be sleeping when they come home.  As usual...my photography skills are lacking, but you get the idea.

The atrocity here that is pink (yes, we painted the bed pink) and green is the inspiration of the 14-year old who assured me she will still love it when she is 17.  The girls love it!  BTW...when you come to visit, bring your sunglasses, because this is where you will be sleeping.

Caleb and Alto will be sharing the camouflage room.  Caleb has his own room (albeit hopefully oh, so temporarily) for the first time ever!

We are hoping that Sam likes space, because his roommate ALWAYS has.  

The next step is to fill them with two more little boys.  Each day is a step closer is all I can say.

Now, to get to packing for Aubrey's Nationals jump rope competition this weekend (more to come, I'm sure) and our trip to Haiti (LOTS more to come!)

And Weeeeee're Out!

Just got word that we are out of IBESR!  This is by far the largest obstacle in the Haitian adoption process.  Check my timeline for the next steps.  We are now talking in weeks, not months or years!  Our realistic timeline now is that the boys could be here anywhere from 3-6 months.  This whole having six children on the same continent, playing in our yard, in our family thing is actually starting to become a reality.

Time is flying right now as we are done with school and working diligently to get the kids' rooms ready.  The girl's room is done...pictures to come of the pink and green atrocity.  They LOVE it!!!  One down two to go.

Whew!