The Honeymoon is Over

I write this for those who read my blog who are close to bringing their little ones home.  As we got closer to bringing our boys home I literally scoured the internet for blogs, groups, anyone who was willing to be honest about what I could really expect when they came home.  All I got was the cutest family pictures imaginable of  happy, perfect children coming home to happy, perfect families.  I was pretty sure this would NOT BE US!

We finally had our first meltdowns.  For Sam it came when he was stubbornly unwilling to make one more apology (honestly, I was impressed he had already made as many as he had) to his brother.  Discipline was definitely in order.  He lost it as I expected.  He and his dad spent the next hour or so working it out.  I was surprised at how willing Sam was to let his dad back in emotionally.

For Alto it came after coming in with ice cold hands from outside (I had just advised him to put on gloves, oh and long pants too, first, but I'm a "go ahead and learn the hard way" kinda mom.)  Hey, the temps were up to 12 that day from -4 the day before, so maybe it would be OK.  If you've experienced the pain when your hands begin to thaw, you know why his sobbing ensued.  I took him upstairs, got him into some long sleeves, long pants, and we cuddled and hugged for about 1/2 hour.  He won't leave the house now without a pair of gloves on.

Honestly, everything is going much better than I expected.  I expected more meltdowns, more conflict about food, chores, and a millions other things, I expected the boys to be more stressed about living in a family, in America.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still barely keeping my head above water to keep up with daily life.

Challenges:

One of the biggest challenges I face on a momentary basis is saying "no" constantly.  I feel like one of those moms who can't possibly enforce the 9 million unnecessary rules she has created.
"Take that marble out of your mouth."
"Don't jump on the couch/bed/chair/table (pick one)."
"Don't lean over the 2nd story hand rail."
"Don't kick the dog/cat."
"You need to wear pants, shoes, and a coat, when it's -5 outside...yes, you do."
These are just a few of what I deem to be necessary requests.  I'm sure it will get better as they adjust to living in our family, but right now I feel like a Scrooge.

Siblings.  The three siblings who have not been to Haiti are having a difficult time understanding the self-protective behaviors.  Let me add here that my greatest pet peeve as a mom is tattling and it is never ending.  They feel the constant need to correct everything they do (I get it), so therefore, Sam especially feels challenged and feels the need to bite back (sometimes literally.)  They all just need a good lesson in unconditional love and selflessness (don't we all?).  We're working on it...CONSTANTLY..every moment of every day!
Everyone is slowly beginning to understand each other and the tension is progressively easing.

Joys:

Sam said to me the other day "Mom, your food is awesome!" (a new word he learned and is trying to use as much as possible)  I said, "Better than Nanut's (the cook at the orphanage)?"  "No," he says.  Every day he says something that makes me laugh out loud.  He is such a fun kid...always has been.  He works hard in school and loves to be challenged.   He's a deep thinker and is processing EVERYTHING. He saw the boys at wrestling practice and wanted to dive in.  I allowed him with much hesitation (we're supposed to be "coccooning", after all.)  He's doing pretty well considering he only understands about half of what's going on.  His English is exceptional which has made the transition so much easier for the both of them.

Alto is bonding so well.  He shows a healthy preference for me.  His English is coming along slowly but surely.  He works well in school and voluntarily cleans up and does chores. He is just one happy little guy...always has been.  Doesn't over think much of anything, just happy to be alive and fed.

It's been challenging, to say the least.  But so far, it's been a challenging joy adding these two to our family.