The Honeymoon is Over

I write this for those who read my blog who are close to bringing their little ones home.  As we got closer to bringing our boys home I literally scoured the internet for blogs, groups, anyone who was willing to be honest about what I could really expect when they came home.  All I got was the cutest family pictures imaginable of  happy, perfect children coming home to happy, perfect families.  I was pretty sure this would NOT BE US!

We finally had our first meltdowns.  For Sam it came when he was stubbornly unwilling to make one more apology (honestly, I was impressed he had already made as many as he had) to his brother.  Discipline was definitely in order.  He lost it as I expected.  He and his dad spent the next hour or so working it out.  I was surprised at how willing Sam was to let his dad back in emotionally.

For Alto it came after coming in with ice cold hands from outside (I had just advised him to put on gloves, oh and long pants too, first, but I'm a "go ahead and learn the hard way" kinda mom.)  Hey, the temps were up to 12 that day from -4 the day before, so maybe it would be OK.  If you've experienced the pain when your hands begin to thaw, you know why his sobbing ensued.  I took him upstairs, got him into some long sleeves, long pants, and we cuddled and hugged for about 1/2 hour.  He won't leave the house now without a pair of gloves on.

Honestly, everything is going much better than I expected.  I expected more meltdowns, more conflict about food, chores, and a millions other things, I expected the boys to be more stressed about living in a family, in America.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still barely keeping my head above water to keep up with daily life.

Challenges:

One of the biggest challenges I face on a momentary basis is saying "no" constantly.  I feel like one of those moms who can't possibly enforce the 9 million unnecessary rules she has created.
"Take that marble out of your mouth."
"Don't jump on the couch/bed/chair/table (pick one)."
"Don't lean over the 2nd story hand rail."
"Don't kick the dog/cat."
"You need to wear pants, shoes, and a coat, when it's -5 outside...yes, you do."
These are just a few of what I deem to be necessary requests.  I'm sure it will get better as they adjust to living in our family, but right now I feel like a Scrooge.

Siblings.  The three siblings who have not been to Haiti are having a difficult time understanding the self-protective behaviors.  Let me add here that my greatest pet peeve as a mom is tattling and it is never ending.  They feel the constant need to correct everything they do (I get it), so therefore, Sam especially feels challenged and feels the need to bite back (sometimes literally.)  They all just need a good lesson in unconditional love and selflessness (don't we all?).  We're working on it...CONSTANTLY..every moment of every day!
Everyone is slowly beginning to understand each other and the tension is progressively easing.

Joys:

Sam said to me the other day "Mom, your food is awesome!" (a new word he learned and is trying to use as much as possible)  I said, "Better than Nanut's (the cook at the orphanage)?"  "No," he says.  Every day he says something that makes me laugh out loud.  He is such a fun kid...always has been.  He works hard in school and loves to be challenged.   He's a deep thinker and is processing EVERYTHING. He saw the boys at wrestling practice and wanted to dive in.  I allowed him with much hesitation (we're supposed to be "coccooning", after all.)  He's doing pretty well considering he only understands about half of what's going on.  His English is exceptional which has made the transition so much easier for the both of them.

Alto is bonding so well.  He shows a healthy preference for me.  His English is coming along slowly but surely.  He works well in school and voluntarily cleans up and does chores. He is just one happy little guy...always has been.  Doesn't over think much of anything, just happy to be alive and fed.

It's been challenging, to say the least.  But so far, it's been a challenging joy adding these two to our family.

"It is Finished"

I'm not really a "crier" per se, but I expected to shed more tears than I have.  I expected to cry when we arrived in Haiti and saw the boys for the first time.  I expected to cry when we drove them out of the orphanage, or when we boarded the plane, or landed on US soil.  But I didn't.  The moment my emotions finally flowed was completely unexpected.  After about an hour wait, the immigration official came out of the office in West Palm Beach, FL and said, "As of this moment, your boys are officially US citizens."  She went on to give a list of instructions which I now wish I had listened to.  It dawned on me that our process was completely finished.  There were no more agonizing waits for legal steps to be completed.  It was finally finished from a legal perspective.  The all consuming legal process that has weighed me down emotionally for over 2 years was actually over.

As I was reflecting on this sense of relief, I thought about Jesus' last words, "It is finished," in John 19:30.  We sometimes get caught up in the emotion of the torturous 48 hours Jesus had endured prior to this, and I'm sure some of His statement was reflecting upon that suffering.  However, I believe Jesus was referring to an eternal picture.  The "eternal purpose" Paul speaks of  in Ephesians 3:11 which was "carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Eph. 1 talks about how "before the foundation of the world"  those who are in Christ were chosen, adopted, redeemed, given an inheritance.  Although we tend to use these terms with great emotion attached to them, in reality, these are technical, legal terms.  Hebrews 9:15-22 explains this legal transaction when speaking about the new covenant (literally a legal will.)  Since a death has taken place...those who have been called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance.  The will, or covenant, isn't valid until the one who made it dies (vs.17).  Basically, when Jesus died, all of the legalities to give us our identity as God's children were complete.  The agonizing wait in Gethsemane was over, no more making others keep quiet about who He was because "His time had not yet come."  The legal transaction God had planned for all eternity was played out, it was finally finished.  The fulfillment of that covenant at Pentecost in Acts 2 still had to be played out, but the legal price was paid, the transaction was final when Jesus died.

When Paul refers to our adoption in Romans 8 and Ephesians 1, he is speaking of adoption from an ancient world view.  In our modern world, we view adoption as taking in a helpless child or infant who is needing a family.  I've heard sermons discussing God taking us in as helpless orphans.  While this is true, this is not at all how the ancient mind would view what Paul was referring to when addressing our adoption.  Paul was addressing a serious legal process which took place in ancient Roman times among the elite.  When a man of wealth or power wished to pass along their inheritance and/or power, they would go through the complicated and expensive legal process of "adopting" a consenting adult to hand over their inheritance to.  This is what God has done.  When Jesus died, the legal process was complete.  The cost was paid.  The eternal plan to make us God's children was finished.  Legally, it is much easier to make a child yours by giving birth than by adoption.  But God chose the complicated, expensive, and difficult path that would make us choose to be His as well as Him choosing us.  We simply have to consent to be His child.

At Immigration

The end result of the legal process.

I could never compare the relief I felt at immigration to what Jesus felt as he gave up His spirit.  It just occurred to me that we often forget the eternal plan, the all consuming legal process, that God constructed to make us legally His children.  He actually went through a very long, painful, expensive (the cost of His son) legal process to purchase us, adopt us, and give us an eternal inheritance.

How's it Going So Far?

We've been home 4 days so far and things are going pretty well.  It is surprisingly quiet around my house at the moment but the decibels are soon to start back up, I'm sure.  

Funny moments:  First words from Sam after getting off the plane in 60 degree Florida, "I'm cold."  Well, it's -6 here today, so....

  Sam didn't think snow was real when he saw snippets of it in Texas while driving in the car..."It's not real, they just painted it," he said.  He's pretty aware of it's existence at this point.

Food issues:

Sam likes almost everything, however not the waffles I served this morning and not (oh, the blasphemy) cheese on his hamburger.  Alto is a quite a bit pickier and, surprisingly,  his favorite food so far has been salad with ranch dressing.  I finally broke down and attempted some "Haitian spaghetti" today.  Success...Alto loved it!

Parenting challenges:  

We have already had "run-ins" with both boys.  No worries, as usual...Mom won!  

Sam woke up to a very quiet house this morning.  He was afraid we had all had left him so he locked the door to his room and began to cry.  Tony found him and Sam and I spent the morning curled up in a blanket on the rocking chair.  Haiti is one constant ball of loudness but it never dawned on me that he has never woken up to a quiet morning in all of his life and wouldn't know how to respond.

School:

My older kids started school today and Sam immediately said he wanted to as well, so he started writing today, the boy wants to learn cursive...full speed ahead, I say.  We assessed his math capabilities and it seems he is somewhere in the middle of 2nd grade (I'll need to order different workbooks.)  Alto, on the other hand, has zero interest so far.

Alto and Holly.  They are quickly becoming good friends.

I crocheted each of the boys an blanket.  Sam's is fluorescent yellow and he loves it.  

Sledding!!

Yesterday, we had a "come and meet Sam and Alto" day and invited all of our friends to come sledding.  They had a blast and it was a great way for them to meet everyone in a non-awkward way.  It didn't take long for Sam to attempt the ramps (which I unsuccessfully don't allow my children to go on) and debut his flying skills.  He said, "Mom, on what day will we do this again?"  Alto found a little hill to chill out on by himself and had a blast as well.

Tony and Sam getting ready for Sam's first ride down the hill.

Aubrey and Alto.

Sam and Joshua making friends.

Old friends too...Aub and Rylan.

Alto headed back up the hill.

Our Journey Home in Pictures

Leaving CHCH for the last time!

At the airport in Cap Haitien.

Boarding the plane for America.

US Citizens!

Big brother at the airport.

Sam carrying his bag the Haitian way.

At a rest stop in TX along the way.

Home at last, in the snow!

We've Got 'Em!

The day has finally come when we can come to Haiti, see our boys, and don't have to endure the dreaded goodbyes.  The boys are excited.  Sam is full of questions and Alto is just along for the ride as usual...but seems excited to get home.

The moment we arrived in Cap Haitien, Hunter and Jillian picked us up from the airport and we headed to COTP to pick up the boys and bring them back to CHCH for a few days to say goodbye to the home they have known in Haiti most (for Alto, all) of their lives.

They were excited to see us and immediately started getting dressed and gathering their things.

Alto saying goodbye to one of his nannies.

Sam getting ready to go.

 

Part of the Pirtle Clan soon to be together.

Notice Sam's hand signal...apparently it means "I love you ALOT!" ....me too.  :-)

We're Going!

We're headed to Haiti on Christmas Eve.  We'll come back to the US on the 27th.  Our first Christmas with the boys will be in Haiti.  It should be a memory we will all cherish for years to come.  I'll post pictures if we have time while we are there.  We are anxious to get there to say the least!

I've Been Waiting For You...Here I Am!!

     Last night in the car I was driving to pick Aubrey up from practice, every minute obsessively contemplating when we would get the call that we can book our tickets to go get the boys (If you haven't checked our timeline...that's where we are!)  A favorite song of our family from a favorite movie of ours came on the radio...I've NEVER heard it on the radio before...only in the movie.  It's a simple song and the lyrics aren't very "deep" and thought provoking, but listening to it finally brought me to tears and opened my heart to the joy of what's about to happen; something the walls of self protection built up over the last 2 1/2 years of hoping and waiting have forbid me to do.  You can click on the title to hear the song.

Here I Am

Here I am - this is me 
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be 
Here I am - this is me 

I come to this world so wild and free

Here I am so young and strong

Right here in the place where I belong 

It's a new world - it's a new start 
It's alive with the beating of young hearts 
It's a new day - it's a new plan 
I've been waiting for you 
Here I am 

Here we are - we've just begun 
And after all this time - our time has come 
Ya here we are - still goin' strong 
Right here in the place where we belong 

Here I am - next to you 
And suddenly the world is all brand new 
Here I am - where I'm gonna stay 
Now there's nothin' standin' in our way 
Here I am - this is me